As a former professional photographer, I spent 14 years dedicating myself to storytelling for others. From documenting trauma to covering protests and the streets of various cities. Always behind the camera, passionate about my craft and helping people, I became a master storyteller for others.
In 2016, when I moved to New York City to pursue my creative career, I continued to pursue my corporate one. Although I was great at my job and a high achiever, I was not happy or fulfilled.
I was burnt out. I had worked hour upon hour with proven results for others, but I had been depleted of my own sense of worth and I had absolutely nothing to show for it. That is when I realized both my personal and professional life were tethered together in unhealthy ways.
After taking a leap to move to The Big Apple to follow my dreams, I fell into a creative black hole. I hid from my creativity, I hid from others, I hid behind closed doors the reality of what my life had become. I was involved in an all consuming emotional, financial, and physically abusive relationship. I was manipulated and controlled. I fell into a depression and became physically ill. Desperate to escape but seeing no way out, I caved for almost two years. I sunk inside myself, ignored my intuition and wandered through my days as a zombie. I believed my abuser that I was nothing and deserved the abuse.
I dealt with my personal life by escaping into my corporate career, but I had developed so many unhealthy work habits that I turned to my personal life for relief and there was none. Both were chaotic.
I covered it all up. I hid from everything, while telling the world I was successful and happy. In reality, I did not love myself nor trust myself. Finally, after months of getting sober in body and mind, I began waking up. No longer a zombie, I knew what I had to do. I had to leave.
So I did. Using all the resources I could find coupled with an active support network, I left my relationship. I dedicated myself to my own healing through therapy. I sought the help of mentors and coaches. Eventually, I left my job as well.
Leaving began my journey towards self-love, self-care, and survivorship. After months of sitting in the uncomfortable, lost in thoughts of what was next, I found my way towards my inner empath, my creative spirit, and my ability to help others find their way through my words and story.
I developed an approach to self-awareness, self-care, and self-keeping that allowed me to write a new story of inner joy resulting in a harmony between my life and career.
My hope is to help you find your way through life, career, and business so you can cultivate joy and build harmony. Through sharing raw, messy, and emotionally authentic stories, we can all make the transition from just surviving to thriving.
© TRACYBNYC | TRACY BARBOUR 2019